** Edited by
Baha and Margaret Habashy
The Challenge
Family disagreements over caregiving can be stressful, affecting both caregivers and care quality. To manage conflicts, listen actively, stay courteous, and focus on solutions. Identify common goals, make decisions, and move forward to ensure the best care for your loved one.
Meet Anna and Lisa
Anna and Lisa sat at their grandmother’s kitchen table, tension thick between them. The soft hum of the old clock on the wall filled the silence as they tried—again—to agree on how to care for Grandma Ruth.
“She needs to move in with me,” Anna insisted, her voice tight with exhaustion. “She can’t be alone anymore.”
Lisa shook her head, stirring her untouched tea. “But she loves this house. She’s lived here for fifty years. We should hire someone to help her here.”
Anna sighed, rubbing her temples. They both wanted what was best, but stress, guilt, and love clashed like storm clouds over every conversation. Grandma Ruth, once so independent, now needed them in ways they never imagined. Balancing work, finances, and personal lives while caring for her was overwhelming.
That night, Lisa sat beside their grandmother, holding her fragile hand. “Grandma, what do you want?” she asked softly.
“I just want my girls to get along,” Ruth whispered.
Lisa and Anna exchanged glances, their anger melting into something softer—understanding. Maybe the perfect solution didn’t exist, but they could find one together. Because in the end, love mattered more than winning an argument.
BIBLICAL INSIGHTS
Proverbs 15:1 – “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
In times of disagreement, responding with gentleness instead of frustration can ease tension and lead to more productive conversations. Anna and Lisa can foster understanding by speaking kindly to each other.
Philippians 2:4 – “Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others.”
Both sisters must remember that their grandmother’s well-being should be the priority, setting aside personal preferences to work together in love.
Colossians 3:13 – “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
Disagreements are inevitable, but holding onto resentment will only create more division. By practicing patience and forgiveness, Anna and Lisa can strengthen their relationship.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – “Love is patient, love is kind… it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
Love should guide their caregiving decisions. True love is selfless and perseveres through challenges, helping them navigate their grandmother’s care with grace.
Galatians 6:9 – “Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up.”
Caring for a loved one is exhausting, but their dedication will bear fruit. This verse reminds them to stay strong, knowing their love and sacrifices matter.
Thougths and Tips
Prioritize Grandma’s Wishes
Example: Ask Grandma Ruth directly how she wants to be cared for and respect her preferences as much as possible.
- Focus on the Common Goal
Example: Remind each other that they both want the best for their grandmother, even if they have different ideas on how to achieve it.
- Communicate Openly and Honestly
Example: Schedule regular check-ins to discuss concerns calmly instead of waiting for frustrations to boil over.
- Set Clear Roles and Responsibilities
Example: One sister handles medical appointments, while the other manages groceries and house maintenance to prevent conflict over who does more.
- Listen Actively Without Interrupting
Example: If Sally is explaining her concerns, Sam repeats them back to confirm understanding before responding.
- Make Decisions Together
Example: When choosing a home aide, both research options and agree on the best fit rather than one deciding alone.
- Seek Mediation from a Neutral Party
Example: If disagreements become too intense, consult a social worker, pastor, or family mediator for guidance.
- Be Willing to Compromise
Example: If Sally wants to keep Grandma at home and Sam prefers assisted living, they could agree on in-home care as a middle ground.
- Keep Emotions in Check
Example: If a conversation gets too heated, take a break and return when emotions have cooled.
- Document Care Plans in Writing
Example: Create a shared document listing Grandma’s needs, medications, and schedules to ensure consistency.
- Divide Financial Responsibilities Fairly
Example: If Sam contributes more time, Sally might handle more of the financial costs to balance the workload.
- Be Flexible as Needs Change
Example: If Grandma’s health declines, they may need to revisit their plan and adjust roles accordingly.
- Show Appreciation for Each Other’s Efforts
Example: A simple “Thank you for taking Grandma to the doctor today” can go a long way in easing resentment.
- Avoid Bringing Up Past Conflicts
Example: Focus on the current issue rather than blaming each other for past disagreements.
- Involve Other Family Members When Needed
Example: If they feel overwhelmed, ask a cousin or aunt to help with meal prep or transportation.
- Take Breaks to Prevent Burnout
Example: Schedule personal time away from caregiving duties to recharge emotionally and physically.
- Use Technology to Stay Organized
Example: Use a shared calendar app to track Grandma’s appointments and caregiving duties.
- Set Realistic Expectations
Example: Accept that they won’t always agree on everything but can still find workable solutions.
- Seek Emotional Support
Example: Join a caregiver support group to share frustrations and gain encouragement.
- Pray Together for Guidance and Strength
Example: Ask God for wisdom and patience, trusting that faith will help them navigate difficult moments.
At our Community Forum you post your prayer requests, gain spiritual guidance, seek emotional support, and get answers to your caregiving questions. Moderated by qualified Christians, pastors, and healthcare professionals, it is our gift to serve you.
** Note: This blog content was developed with help from ChatGPT 3.5. The story, names and images are for illustration only.
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